Mama Yin & Daughter Yang

My mother called yesterday, around quarter to noon. My niece was getting married over at the old courthouse in Santa Ana and my mother wanted to know if Sabrina was getting ready. Of course, Sabrina wasn't. Sabrina was sleeping. In my bed. Exactly where I had left her when I woke up to answer the ringing phone.

Sporting a cold, I had woken up around 7am. I dosed myself up with Mucinex, Aleve, cough-syrup and a Sucrets. I then promptly went back to sleep. Until the phone rang at 11:45am.

The wedding was to take place at 4pm. I couldn't go because I had to work. Sabrina was going to the wedding with my mother. Sabrina was "representing" my little branch of the family. You may think it odd that my mother would call to see if a non-bride person was preparing for a 4pm wedding at 11:45am. This is because you do not know my mother.

Though my mother was never a Boy Scout, she is, if nothing else, prepared. And not just prepared like a normally prepared person, either. She is thoroughly, dare I say excessively prepared. When the Social Security Office informed my mother that her retirement checks would reflect the fact that she did not pay Social Security taxes for the years 1979-1981, my mother pulled out the original cancelled checks to prove them wrong. The woman has owned a business since 1976 and has carefully saved each and every invoice and receipt for every single monetary transaction since she opened the doors. Want to know how much money the business took in back on April 17th, 1985? July 30, 1976? January 3, 1992? Just give her 10 minutes to find it.

So you can imagine her surprise in discovering that somehow, as if God were playing a very non-funny, giant cosmic joke on her, she was given perhaps the least prepared daughter that has ever existed on the planet. A daughter that cannot be counted on to know where her shoes are any given moment that they aren't physically secured onto her feet. A daughter that regularly says things like, "Beats me!" and "Psh. I'll figure it out when I get there." A daughter who needs to be reminded that she needs to remind her daughter to get ready for a wedding. My mother doesn't just remind - she can remind to the 2nd power.

Don't try this at home, kids.

Though she seems to keep her sense of humor when dealing with me, I suspect she finds me annoying. The poor thing continues to try to teach me an important-to-her lesson I keep failing to appreciate fully. I know in the long run she is much smarter about this life thing than I am - that's obvious. But being fully prepared just isn't me. I'd feel, well, comatose - as if I were going through the motions of life rather than actually living it. I enjoy the adrenaline high of sheer panic. It's exhilarating to live flying by the seat of your pants. Hanging on the precipice of disaster is, my friends, is par for The Laurie Course. Ten minutes of living my lifestyle would make my mother break out in big ass hives. Perhaps even hospitalization, prescription strength medication, and expensive specialists in the field of dermatology would be involved.

But she loves me just the same. I know it. She doesn't really "get" why someone would choose to live like this but, ummmm....okay.

While my mom attended my nieces wedding, impeccably dressed with matching shoes and handbag; her freshly bathed and nicely attired grand-daughter seated next to her, on the other side of town a flight booked to 68 going to Phoenix suddenly cancelled. I had to help figure out what to do with all these impatient people who needed to go to all those places. And we needed to make it happen 10 minutes ago. I loved every friggin' second of it.

To each her own.

New Digs

How do you like the new place?

After much thought and consideration, I decided to move my blog away from Myspace. It's not that I don't like the myspace blog; I'm just not spending a lot of time over there anymore. Oh, I'll still use Myspace to keep an eye on the kiddies and to intercept the odd messages here and there but I enjoy the more immediate interaction of Facebook. Reading status updates that tell me someone is eating a pizza or just washed their hair is fascinating to me. I'm easily fascintated. I may be an intellectually simple but the upside is that I'm rarely ever bored.

My former blog remained untitled over on myspace all the years I posted there. It's just too much pressure to come up with something jazzy, smart and descriptive and then have to live up to the fabulous title. I had to cough up a title here. They made me. I settled on "Absolute Laurie" because it's the only promise I can fulfill.